Parenting for Social Justice: Raising Conscious Kids

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Are you looking for ways to nurture fairness, empathy, and justice in your child? In the latest episode of Conscious Pathways, Brittney Carey shares her personal journey and practical tips for raising socially conscious children. From toddlers to teens, this episode covers age-appropriate strategies for fostering social justice conversations at home, in the classroom, and beyond.

Key Takeaways:

Start Young: Children as young as three years old have an innate sense of fairness. Use everyday moments, like sharing toys or resolving conflicts, to teach equity and justice.
Model Behavior: Show compassion, respect, and responsibility in your daily interactions to set an example for your child.
Incorporate Media: Introduce social justice concepts through diverse books and media that reflect a wide range of experiences and cultures.
Empower Kids: Encourage questions and discussions to help children develop critical thinking and empathy.

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Fairness and Justice in Children
00:19 Welcome to Conscious Pathways Podcast
00:34 Support the Podcast
01:04 Episode Overview: Age-Appropriate Conversations
01:41 Personal Teaching Experience
03:48 Understanding Child Development
04:50 Role of Parents as First Teachers
05:38 Concrete Thinking in Young Children
10:05 Modeling Compassion and Respect
16:41 Importance of Diverse Books
21:41 Teaching Fairness and Consideration
23:59 Introducing Privilege and Empathy
25:25 Raising Socially Conscious Teens
26:25 Recap and Final Thoughts

Resources:

Join the Conversation:
How are you fostering fairness and justice in your family or classroom? Share your tips and experiences in the comments below or on social media with the hashtag #ConsciousPathways.

Connect with Brittney:

Parenting for social justice is about modeling fairness, engaging in meaningful conversations, and providing children with the tools to navigate the world as compassionate, justice-minded individuals. Tune in to the full episode for more insights and start making a difference today.

Transcript:

[00:00:09] Brittney: Did you know that children start to develop a sense of fairness and justice as young as three years old.

[00:00:14] So how are we as parents teachers and caregivers cultivating that innate sense?

[00:00:19] Hi, I’m Brittney. This is conscious pathways, the podcast that explores the intersection of education and social justice. Through transformative conversations. And I am so happy to have you here on this journey with me

[00:00:31] But before we get into that I just want to remind you too. Please like share, subscribe to the podcast wherever you find this podcast. If you’re on apple podcasts. leave a rating or review. It really does help the podcast to grow and reach more listeners just like you. I have a goal this year to reach 1000 subscribers on YouTube.

[00:00:51] every new friend counts. if you like visual podcasts, I’ll have videos there. I experimented with new editing styles. go there and see what you think. if you like, it might as well hit that subscribe button. I’d love to have you join me on this journey. in this episode,

[00:01:05] I’m going to explore how to have age appropriate conversations with children around fairness and justice,

[00:01:10] how we can model equity and justice in our everyday lives,

[00:01:14] and how we can help children develop critical thinking skills to navigate the complexities of fairness and activism.

[00:01:21] So if you’re a parent just starting on your social justice journey and you want your kids to be socially conscious, justice minded, individuals. This is the episode for you. Tune in. And come join me on this journey.

[00:01:36] Let’s get into it.

[00:01:37]

[00:01:41] Brittney: I remember when I first started teaching. I would see behaviors in the classroom. children, interacting with other kids in a really unfair and unjust way. There was one kid who I had in my class who, his family had just immigrated here from China.

[00:01:55] he was still learning English. The kid had to be about, maybe three, three and a half years old. So he didn’t have a whole lot of experience with English. He was really learning the English language and no one in our school really knew Mandarin enough to really communicate that well with him. He had just very limited grasp on English and, we were on the playground with some of the older kids. We had my classroom a three-year-old and then the. The four and five-year-old classroom is also on the playground at the same time.

[00:02:21] And there was some boys that were just making fun of this kid’s accent. They were making fun of the way that he talked, the way that he looked. And of course this kid is three and he doesn’t know that they’re making fun of him really. He just thinks that they’re playing. So he’s trying to have a good time.

[00:02:36] And these other kids are just really, they’re laughing out of, they’re making fun of him and they’re not involving him in this play at all. And my heart was just breaking. And I just didn’t, this was like my first, yeah, this was my first year teaching. So I just didn’t have a whole lot of experience with having these conversations with children. So I brought this up to those children’s teacher that, the four and five year old teacher. And just mentioned, Hey, I’m noticing this behavior. If you want to talk to them about it, or, how would you address this conversation?

[00:03:05] Because she was a much older teacher and she’d been at the school for. So much longer than I had. So looking to her for guidance of, what would you say, what do you do? And her response was just to brush it off and just said, ah, they’re just boys. They’re just having fun. That really left a sour taste in my mouth because. I knew that to just not be right.

[00:03:24] That’s not the world that I want to be in and that’s not the world that I want to cultivate. And if you’re anything like me I felt stuck. I didn’t have the tools to engage students in these conversations. I didn’t have the tools to really deepen my, deepen their understanding of like, why this was wrong and to have these conversations, I didn’t know what to do.

[00:03:45] And so I just froze and I didn’t do anything

[00:03:48] I really struggled knowing how to incorporate conversations about social justice and advocacy with young children in a way that made sense that it wasn’t overwhelming. I feel like I was trying to do a lot at once.

[00:04:03] And the more I actually learned about child development and how they understand the world. The simpler it got. I was, over-complicating it talking about social justice with children? you don’t have to buy a bunch of new things and toys.

[00:04:16] You don’t have to do all that It’s pretty simple, right? The work of children, the work of young children, especially is understanding the way the world works around them. they’re trying to engage in meaning making they’re looking at the world.

[00:04:33] The more I understand about how children develop how their brains work about. Developmentally what they’re capable of and what they’re capable of understanding that helped me to be a lot more intentional as an educator. Working with young children. for parents at home, You are your child’s first teacher,

[00:04:55] They learn so much from you.

[00:04:58] Whether you’re intentionally trying to teach them something or not. They’re constantly learning from you. They are learning their value systems, what’s expected of them. They were learning about respect. They’re learning about who gives respected, who gets respect. They’re learning about compassion and responsibility. The child’s work is meaning, making.They’re trying to understand the way the world works by looking at how people interact with them. The images that they see the sounds they hear, they’re learning so much about the world by what they see, hear and experience.

[00:05:29] And that’s why it is so important to know your role as your child’s first teacher they’re consistently learning from you. especially in early childhood

[00:05:38] And here’s where knowing their development also comes in really clutch here because also understanding that the flaw of young children is their thinking tends to be very black and white. their brains are very like they’re bringing their very concrete. So things that they can see here in touch, they understand that very well, more abstract concepts. They have a really hard time with those concepts because developmentally that’s just not where their brains are. And to do quick little. Nerdy brain break. Our brains as human beings, they develop from the least to the most complex parts.

[00:06:19] So when they one of fetus is in the uterus. And it’s growing the parts of the brain that developed first are going to be. The things that help your heart to beat your lungs to breathe. Those are the things that are going to develop first.

[00:06:31] You don’t have to think about breathing. You don’t have to think about making your heartbeat. You don’t have to think about all these different processes because your body’s already doing that. on autopilot. That’s the least complex thing it can do. And then as we develop as human beings, our brains continue to develop until we’re about 25, 26 years old.

[00:06:49] That’s one of your prefrontal cortex, reaches full maturation. throughout our development, we understand more complex information. But when we’re young, under five years old, You just don’t have the ability to understand. Complex because your brain hasn’t developed that skill yet.

[00:07:08] for example, let’s take learning how to read. You wouldn’t plop the dictionary in front of your eight month old and expect them to read it. They don’t have the skills to read it all, but not, of course not the dictionary. Most children of. The skills to read the dictionary. What we would do generally with learning to read you might expose them to print concepts, that you might expose them to books with images and pictures.

[00:07:33] You might expose them to. The alphabet, once they understand those they can start understanding. these symbols have sounds to them. And then they could start seeing, oh, when you’re reading this book. Those that book also has that same symbols in it. Because young children’s ability to think is very concrete. So they can think about what they see touch feel in front of them.

[00:07:57] More abstract ways of thinking, which essentially. Gets into how reading eventually becomes. It becomes a little bit more of an abstract way. Of thinking and being that’s a little bit harder just because their brain hasn’t developed the skills to do that just yet. So with very young children, they see what’s in front of them.

[00:08:16] What they can see, touch feel. Those are the things they’re going to connect with the most. And we want to do that same thing when we’re talking about social justice equity and fairness with young children.

[00:08:31] And we want to do that same thing when we’re talking to young children about social justice concepts,

[00:08:35] we don’t want to plop. These big abstract ideas in front of them and expect them to really understand it. Like the word justice is very abstract word. That has a meaning, but even most adults have a hard time defining what that word means. They might not really understand that concept, but they understand what’s fair.

[00:08:58] They understand something not being fair. Very well. And we can actually tune into that. Cause his young children have this very innate sense of fairness. And what’s right. And wrong. their thinking is very black and white, so they don’t have room in their thought processes as very young children. For nuance and a lot that goes into social justice, there is a lot of nuanced. Their brains don’t really have the capacity for a lot of, do you want someone we’re introducing these topics we want to connect it with things that they can see, touch, feel, experience.

[00:09:34] And so that can really be every day moments, right? That’s where for very young children, for preschool age children, most of their learning is going to come from everyday moments. Those everyday moments that you’re not even thinking about when you’re with your children. Those breakfast moments getting them ready for school. The drive to school, bedtime routine, eating dinner together.

[00:10:00] All those everyday moments, they’re learning about fairness and you’re not even aware of it.

[00:10:05] Three of the most impactful things to think about when raising conscious children

[00:10:11] are compassion, respect, and responsibility. Now. Those in themselves are big abstract concepts. That might be hard. To explain to a young child. But what’s not hard is to show those things to young children. So if we take an every day. Moment. Getting out the door in the morning. Whether you’re going to school, whether you’re going to work. Whatever that big transition looks like from sleeping to being out the door. There are so many moments that you can model compassion, respect, and responsibility.

[00:10:49] we’ve all been there where you’re having a chaotic morning, you snooze your alarm too much. Your alarm didn’t go off at the right time. Your kid woke up on the wrong side of the bed emotions are flying high, the shoes aren’t right. The outfit isn’t right. It’s, too itchy. It’s too colorful. You can’t find your favorite pair of shoes. Everything just seems to be like, it’s just not going in your favor that day you’re having a rough morning. Your kid’s having a rough morning. The emotions are running high. Those are moments when we can actually start to take a step back. Take a deep breath. And start to practice compassion.

[00:11:29] And I’m not saying that’s the easiest thing in the world to do, and I’m not saying that we’re going to be perfect at it, that you’re going to do it every single time. You’re a human being and that human beings are going to human being.

[00:11:42] In the moments when you can take a moment to regulate. Whether that’s taking a deep breath. Whether that’s, taking a moment for yourself, put yourself in the bathroom for a couple of minutes. As long as the kids are safe close the door and lock yourself in take a breath. regulate and come back when you are more regulated have conversations. walk through these moments and see what’s really going on. What is the essence of these big, huge emotions? And when we are talking that through, even if you can’t do that in the moment, there are going to be days when you just can’t do that. You could always have a wraparound conversation.

[00:12:19] Start it with, what. This morning, there was a lot going on. I lost myself in that moment. I may have yelled. I may not have listened to you very well. And I’m really sorry. That is a great way to start practicing compassion and understanding and showing them .

[00:12:37] That’s also a way that you’re showing up in a way that is respectful. I think those moments that we were actually practicing compassion and understanding for young children.

[00:12:46] And there’s so many ways that we can do that. If we go back to that example, it’s a chaotic morning. You’re trying to feed your kid. You gave them the red bowl instead of the pink bowl. And now. This is the worst thing that has ever happened in their entire life. And you are the worst human being to ever exist. Even in those moments, we can still practice compassion. And knowing that with young children, especially, If there’s absent a diagnosis that would explain that behavior. Oftentimes with young children. So much of their life is made for them. So they don’t get to practice decision-making and being a part of the world. And that’s really frustrating. That’s really frustrating.

[00:13:32] Put yourself in their shoes So much of their life is decided for them, what schools they go to, what they wear, what they eat, who they play with, how they get places. Young children, rarely get to practice their independence and autonomy. And so some of the ways that they often will do this is through. They can protest what they’re eating.

[00:13:54] They can protest how they eat when and where they go to the bathroom. Just trying to practice their own autonomy. it often comes out in ways that are highly inconvenient to us as adult to have strict timelines that we need to be on. We can still practice compassion. While holding healthy boundaries. practicing compassion I hear you.

[00:14:17] You really wanted the pink bowl and I gave you the red bowl. Next time. I’ll ask you what color you want. That is a compassionate response I’ve acknowledged. You’re feeling really upset that I gave you this bowl and you were looking for the other one. There are ways that we can approach that and model that, right?

[00:14:37] you are your child’s first teacher. And if I am constantly dismissing the way that they feel. If I am constantly putting down their thoughts, ideas, opinions If I am not listening not valuing them. Not showing they are a valuable member of this family.

[00:14:57] what does that teach them in the long run about how we treat others? if I am your parent. And I am supposed to be the one who loves you unconditionally shows you love is teaching you about what love looks like and what love feels like and what it feels like to be a part of something bigger than myself. If that is my job in my role. And I’m not doing that What makes me think that child is going to practice empathy compassion respect. And community within others. They’re not learning that. I can acknowledge there are moments when that’s going to feel next to impossible to stop and talk about our feelings to talk about what we’re going through.

[00:15:38] Especially when it feels really trivial, getting a red bowl instead of a pink bowl, feels like the most trivial thing in the world.But to those children. That might very well, might be the worst thing that’s happened to them all day.

[00:15:52] And by showing them that compassion and respect and understanding. That is helping them to tune into these things when they get to feel what that feels like. They eventually practice that elsewhere. Young children, especially preschool age children are very egocentric. Which means that they primarily are really only thinking about themselves at any given moment. They’re not really thinking about. How other people are feeling too much around them. They’re practicing that skill. They may be able to do that inconsistently, but they’re not doing it every single time. ’cause that’s a skill that their brain is still developing and still growing in.

[00:16:38] Brittney: I remember having a conversation with someone and, they were talking about, why is everyone trying to have teach homosexuality in books?

[00:16:48] Why are they trying to throw it down people’s throats? Like why. Why am I seeing this everywhere? And like I took a moment

[00:16:55] understand the question, but what it really comes down to is that diversity of books is so incredibly important. And. Books, especially children’s books expose children to diversity, different thoughts, to different ways that families exist. To different ways that people exist. They are very beautiful way to do that. And.

[00:17:20] If we’re not intentional about the books we’re bringing in. The books that are very popular the books pushed in front of you most often. Tend to be books with white children. a nuclear family, a mom and a dad. Maybe a kid or two they’re usually white. usually Christian oriented.

[00:17:40] Those are the books that are going to be at the forefront most of the time. unless you are very intentional about making sure you are actively. Bringing in. Diverse books to your home or into your classroom. It can become very homogenous. quickly. being mindful of the books and concepts that reflect, not just your family, but reflect. Other families or affect other cultures at risk that reflect other ways that our bodies even exist.

[00:18:12] There are such beautiful books out there that already do the work for you. And can explicitly talk about these bigger topics that might be harder to talk about that you might not have the skills yet to fully talk about, but there’s these children’s books that have been formulated. For that very purpose. And have been created with the developmental age of your child. In mind. I always say, read the books that you’re going to bring into your home or your classroom. Before and make sure that it is in alignment with the values you want reflected in your home, read it and make sure it’s reflective of that. But be really mindful of. The authors being really mindful of. The who’s being portrayed in the book.

[00:18:55] Make sure that thepeople in the books are being portrayed in a way that is accurate. As being portrayed in a way that is kind and approachable. Another beautiful thing about books is that. It opens up more conversations that you can have with your child. And S one C where they are in there. Ability to understand others and practice, empathy and compassion, but also it helps them to start thinking about things differently. You’re actually modeling it to them.

[00:19:23] So when you’re asking them. What do you think this child and the book feels, and you’re showing them look at their face What kind of face are they making? What is their body telling us? Is their body tight and in a ball? is their face scrunched up? They look really angry or are they smiling?

[00:19:41] Are they crying? Asking these questions about how these characters are actually experiencing that story. opens up more conversation. One of my favorite things is I’ll read a book and then look at it. You know what? I didn’t see a kid in this book who looked like me. Did you see a kid that looked like you. How does that feel?

[00:19:57] What does that look like? taking a moment to observe the pictures in the books. I’m seeing that this kid has curly hair, like me. You have straight hair. Do you see someone that has straight hair that looks like you. And just having those conversations and looking at the book is showing them it’s.

[00:20:14] It’s introducing this conversation in a way that is very digestible, especially for young children.

[00:20:20] And if you need some help with books, there’s bookshop dot org. I’ll have a link in my show notes. And I have a list for all different age groups.

[00:20:29] I have a list for children’s books, young adult books, school, age books, poetry. There’s just books for whatever age you’re looking for that celebrate diversity. I have a section on my bookshop.org page that has all of the conscious friends on there.

[00:20:46] So there are friends who have been on the podcast who have written books, whether those are children’s books, adult books. if you want to listen to their podcast episodes, I will also link them down in the show notes. Those are also really great places to start.

[00:20:58] If you’re looking to grow in your capacity to teach social justice and to introduce these concepts to your children at home.

[00:21:07] Because books, aren’t really beautiful way to expose. Children and youth to worldviews and things that are different from the way that they see the world. It’s great conversation starters. It’s great ways to start. Engaging in these conversations and to see what your child is interested in, learning more about what they have questions about, really tuning into the questions is really big to your children will show you what they’re interested in by the questions that they’re asking by the things that they’re interested in. And so you can actually elevate that and bring in these concepts. How do you go about having conversations, particularly with young children when their worldview really centers around themselves? My answer is you use that to your advantage.

[00:21:55] I know when I was growing up, there was the golden rule, treat others how you would like to be treated. I like that to a degree. it shifts as we get older. For toddlers and preschoolers.

[00:22:09] That works well because their worldview is them centric. they don’t have the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes

[00:22:18] So children basically under five, you want to use simple language. bigger abstract conversations. Are harder for them to grasp but they understand. Experiences, they understand something feeling fair and not feeling fair. And you could have conversations about that, about a ton that they felt something wasn’t fair what that felt like how they would want to change that.

[00:22:41] So for preschool aged in toddler children.

[00:22:44] So children really under a five. Using really simple language and focusing on fairness. When, one of my favorite ways it to teach this with young children is to help them understand the concept of what it means to be considerate. And part of that is showing them what it means to be considerate holding the door open for others is a nice, considerate thing to do.

[00:23:09] It means thinking about other people. It starts to show them that it is important to think about other people and what other people need. Taking turns is a way to be considerate. Young children are notorious for being impatient. They’re developing that skill. They will develop it eventually, but it takes time to develop that skill. And being able to practice that patient and understanding. That when we take turns, that means you might have to wait a little bit. But you will get a turn and understanding that things are fair.

[00:23:39] And when they’re not fair Talk to them about it. What do you think fairness means? Those conversations will help to open up their minds to having deeper conversations later about what justice means and what we can do when things aren’t just. But understanding what that feels like and being considerate

[00:23:56] are great ways to start at home.

[00:23:59] For school, age children, you can start introducing the idea of privilege. And. You can start introducing the concept of privilege and empathy. Through stories through different events happening in the media. I can be very mindful of the developmental age of your particular child. But you can start to introduce these concepts a little bit more as they get older. And one way to really understand privilege, which is a hard thing. A harder thing to understand. In their development, especially for young children. But one way that you can help them to start developing their understanding is by practicing gratitude.

[00:24:42] When we see how grateful we are for the things that we have and understanding that there are people out there who don’t have those same things that we have. And we can start practicing those gratitude for those things. And then we can start showing through the practice of it.

[00:24:56] One really beautiful thing is, do you do volunteering as a family? If you have the time and the space and the ability to do that? Volunteering as a family is a beautifully, really beautiful way to start understanding gratitude and privilege and understanding the importance of giving back and the importance of community.

[00:25:14] How, when we work together, we can help solve problems and we can help be a community together and also expose ourselves to different worldviews and different ways of being in different people.

[00:25:25] As your child becomes a teenager They will have a deeper, understanding of their own moral development, and their own concept of justice. They have the ability to understand things more in abstract ways. So you’re able to have deeper conversations about systemic issues

[00:25:43] if you did the work with them, when they were young children and then, school, age, and other teenagers, you’ve already built the foundation for that empathy, that compassion being considerate, thinking about justice, thinking about fairness, thinking about equity, they already have that in mind.

[00:25:59] So now you can have deeper conversations about systemic issues. what issues are important to them? environment, LGBTQ. Issues. Gun violence whatever issue that they seem to be connecting to the most, that you can dive deep with them and they can, develop projects around how they want to solve these issues and how they want to have conversations. work you do before that point. Sets them up to be successful later on.

[00:26:25] So to recap, the essence to raising socially conscious kids. Is to start with empathy, compassion, respect, really come back to those core essences of what social justice is really identify what your values are. Your core values are as a family and what it is that you want your children to know

[00:26:47] And contribute to. The world that you want your children to help to create

[00:26:52] You want them to be a part of. That will really help you along your journey. it’s a journey. not a destination. Rely on your community, other parents, trusted adults, people doing this work, it’s hard to do this on your own. when you have community, it will help you They will help you to be accountable to other people.

[00:27:11] They will help you with resources. Join the conscious pathways community. We will help you on this journey. I’m happy to be a part of this with you.

[00:27:21] Some of the most important things you can do with your children is modeling the behavior you want them to see. You don’t model modeling the behavior that you want your children to. Emulate that you want them become the person that your children look up to, by practicing your own skills, Becoming a stronger social justice advocate. And advocating for your community they will also be doing that as well.

[00:27:46] Remember that the work of children is to make meaning of the world their thinking is inherently flawed. It is inherently very black or white and it misses a lot of nuance. our job as parents educators and adults Is to help to give them the tools to make meaning of this world around them. Use the tools available to you. Use things like books. Use those as guideposts for children to start to understand what these concepts are. Because without proper help and support children can make really flawed meaning of the world around them. Thinking of other people as bad or wrong thinking of themselves as bad or wrong. And it’s oftentimes that’s not the case that they’re just not seeing themselves being represented fairly.

[00:28:36] If they’re not seeing other people being represented fairly. If they’re not feeling they’re being treated fairly. And those are all things that you have the ability to be a part of and do.

[00:28:45] Talk to your children about these concepts and bring books into it, bring in media that talks about these things and that elevates. Whether that’s, race, culture, language. we have so many resources at our disposal and I have linked those. Everything resources to books in my show notes podcast, episodes that dive into these concepts a little bit deeper.

[00:29:09] I’m building a conscious community of parents and educators, who want to learn from each other and want to be a catalyst for change in build a future that we want to live in. So if that sounds like something you want to be a part of sign up for my newsletter.

[00:29:24] I encourage you to reflect on at least one. Takeaway from this episode.

[00:29:30] reflect on one thing you can do this week in your journey to raising conscious kids. And please share that with me on my Instagram or Tik TOK or YouTube gets shared in the comments on Spotify. You can. You can comment on this episode and I’ll see it. Share one way that you are going to help support your children and becoming conscious kids.

[00:29:52] And on that note, don’t forget to like share subscribe to this podcast, wherever you get your podcasts, subscribe to my newsletter so you can know when that conscious community is launching. I’ll see you next time and wherever you are on your conscious journey, don’t forget lead with courage and kindness.

[00:30:07] I’ll see you next time from our transformative conversations in education. Bye. Bye.

[00:30:11]

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